Epic N00bz

So since that magical nymph of the forest of 'holy crap shes beautiful' has left me! I am incredibly bored so tonight dear reader you get to swallow two steaming hot logs of my blog

In my brief tenure here on blogspot I have learnt two things:
1. All u n00b bloggaz are teh failz lul xD ^__^
2. lolcats! where are all the lolcats!

I know that you are just as angry as me all the epic failurez of teh noobs due to their lack of lolcats
So I bring to you the best of LOLcats















First appearance in Mr. Baker's nuclear fission notes. The source of the lulz comes from teh kitteh being fired at with a neutron. Teh kitteh being at absolute zero thus resulted in a black hole. It is beleived that said kitteh belonged to Mr. Baker but after it crapped all over his limited edition "International Year of Astronomy" shirt he subsequently vaporised it, sending kitteh litter beyond all voids of time and space. Score: I give this 7/10 as epic lulz were had by all








Another source of epic lulz and xDing. I suspect Charlie had something to do with this, note the incredibly accurate representation of a cat-person would be like. Garfield you iz wun krazee kitteh. Score: 6/10 Garfield you've done it again
















Dave Kitteh was created after David fucked your mum (lul) with a dick covered in whipped cream. Thus creating the kitteh that hates everything. Yes we know you have training tonight! But, can i haz chicken tonight? Score: 3/10 purely because of the sour puss attitude, go suck on a lemon

Now that we have all had our lulz onto serious business
To the fuck bags who just egged my house, bring your eggs up here and we can go at it like proper human beings, suffice to say I will end your worthless, oxygen theiving lives you dumb fucks. "Oh gerrrrr MOTOWN represent cunt! Cunt cunt cunt cunt you fat cunt gerrr cunt!" In the time it took you to say 'cunt' you dumb rat-tailed dick, the AIDS virus "ya mum cunt" gave to you when she was pregnant with you has just doubled. Have fun fulfilling the careers of garbage men, toilet cleaners, prostitutes and teachers in your future.

Pun, Pun, Pun, till her Daddy took the T-Bird away!

Dedicated to Matelin Scothern

Warning: If you suffer from an allergy to terribly bad puns (commonly known as conpunctivitis) please exit now, as the following article may induce fever, bloating or even a rash which can only be treated via a course of punicillin.

It is widely known that modern day fabrication of puns (refered to as Punology by academics) was invented in the summer pun eighty five (185) by Greek philosopher Punaetius as a way to get back at his fellow philsophers after they claimed he was a 'pun hit punder' following his discovery of 'not' jokes. Punaetius' work had largely been forgotten after his death but was later stumbled upon by desciples of Jesus, and after learning of Punaetius' work, founded the beleif in the Puntecost.

This system of beleifs evolved over time leading us to modern puns. An example of post 1901 puns in Australia can be found in the word for kicking a football a 'punt'. In a pre-season warm up game in the winter of 1910 involving players of the Richmond Tigers Football Club, one player, Charlie 'Cracker' Crackhouse was notorious for his severe retardation and hilarious kicking style. His team-mate Charlie Rickets (who died later of Osteomalacia) thought it would be a right larf if he was to satirise his team mate's kicking style. "Say old boy cracker, your execution of your booting looks awfully like this" at which point Rickets employed a heavily spasticated kick, going out on the full, he followed this up with "And your mother is of questionable sexuality". Cracker retorted rather retardedly "Look Rickets, old chap, just drop the pun, post-haste!", hence the term "drop punt" was formed.

Of course good reader, not everyone appreciates this fine art form as do you and I. Detractors such as Samuel Johnson have been quoted as saying "There's nothing punny about puns". Oscar Wilde countered this in a news journal article saying "Johnson you uptight little shit, lighten up and have some pun!"

So good reader, go out and spread the good word of the pun, and if any police officers try and tell you to "Sir, please put down the pun you stupid punt!" respond with "Never! Punaetius' work will never be unpun!"

Corollary: If all of the above horrible and horendously gooooooood jokes made you cry like punions please send complaints to:

The Department of Interest Bored
BO Box: Smelly
Boganholme 4003

To Club or not To Club?

For the purposes of this blog entry please consider the following image:



















Is this image shockingly hilarious or hilariously shocking?
You decide.....
But not before reading the following true and hilariously shocking events...

Sitting in Physics class today I thought it would be poignant to install the new Maths question bank
Now I will not mention the institution of which the question bank is published by as I am likely to be dragged throught a court process which will inevitably leave me without pants
However! This is a shocking piece of animal cruelty (or kindness) and the story must be told

This is the screen that greeted me when I went about installing said question bank...



















Is this man clubbing? If yes, I don't hear any dance music....
It's up to you people, but personally I can not give this activity my seal of approval

The Importance of Pants in Today's Society

Today I had the pleasure of seeing a grown man not wearing pants.
I must remind you that all of the following events are based on a true story....

Myself and my fourth form chums were enjoying a day of learned learning, whence we excited the biblioteque via the eastern egress. As my chums and I glanced down upon the creek adjacent the classroom we happened upon a tidy gentleman dressed in rather quite shirt and slacks..... or so we thought.....

At first glance it appeared to simply be a gentleman enjoying his own company, but at second glance it was apparent he was enjoying his own company, one would say, a little too much. I duly noted "Hark! That man has failed to don his pants correctly!", my chums promptly glanced upon said de-pantsed man at which point said man attempted to hastily re-pant himself.

With all of his blouse and other personal "effects" tucked sufficiently within his dress, he huried off to whence he came and the congregation promptly re-entered the building. Now safely inside the hardened walls of a sheltered institution, said chums and I shared a round of fine whiskey and looked back upon the events of the day with fancy