Pun, Pun, Pun, till her Daddy took the T-Bird away!

Dedicated to Matelin Scothern

Warning: If you suffer from an allergy to terribly bad puns (commonly known as conpunctivitis) please exit now, as the following article may induce fever, bloating or even a rash which can only be treated via a course of punicillin.

It is widely known that modern day fabrication of puns (refered to as Punology by academics) was invented in the summer pun eighty five (185) by Greek philosopher Punaetius as a way to get back at his fellow philsophers after they claimed he was a 'pun hit punder' following his discovery of 'not' jokes. Punaetius' work had largely been forgotten after his death but was later stumbled upon by desciples of Jesus, and after learning of Punaetius' work, founded the beleif in the Puntecost.

This system of beleifs evolved over time leading us to modern puns. An example of post 1901 puns in Australia can be found in the word for kicking a football a 'punt'. In a pre-season warm up game in the winter of 1910 involving players of the Richmond Tigers Football Club, one player, Charlie 'Cracker' Crackhouse was notorious for his severe retardation and hilarious kicking style. His team-mate Charlie Rickets (who died later of Osteomalacia) thought it would be a right larf if he was to satirise his team mate's kicking style. "Say old boy cracker, your execution of your booting looks awfully like this" at which point Rickets employed a heavily spasticated kick, going out on the full, he followed this up with "And your mother is of questionable sexuality". Cracker retorted rather retardedly "Look Rickets, old chap, just drop the pun, post-haste!", hence the term "drop punt" was formed.

Of course good reader, not everyone appreciates this fine art form as do you and I. Detractors such as Samuel Johnson have been quoted as saying "There's nothing punny about puns". Oscar Wilde countered this in a news journal article saying "Johnson you uptight little shit, lighten up and have some pun!"

So good reader, go out and spread the good word of the pun, and if any police officers try and tell you to "Sir, please put down the pun you stupid punt!" respond with "Never! Punaetius' work will never be unpun!"

Corollary: If all of the above horrible and horendously gooooooood jokes made you cry like punions please send complaints to:

The Department of Interest Bored
BO Box: Smelly
Boganholme 4003