Good Evening Dearest of Dear Readers
If you are reading this, the magical fairy of something or other has just granted you an extra 2 inches on your penis, if you’re a chick then you have just been granted new Tupperware or that other stuff all women are into...
First Item of Business:
A group of naked chicks at a beach is called a tittle. Probably has something to do with all the tits...
Item Two:
Yes, the news stories are true, I am top of the QASMTFC all time goal scorers list after our demolition of the foreigners. Something about being foreign must mean that you forget not to walk on the ball.... if you couldn’t tell, we won by 7 goals, which would have only been 4 without Goal Sneak Allen on the ball. I am looking forward to next week’s shoot out against the hopelessly uncoordinated “Amorous 8” although key defender Anh will be tough to navigate past due to his lightning fast reflexes and taught toned body. At this point I must thank major sponsor “Rabbi Shtuykel’s DIY Home Circumcision Kits™” and remember you can’t spell “Shtuykel’s means less blood and more fun” without Shtuykel!
Item Three:
As we all know swine flu is spread by capitalist pigs, which is why I was shocked to hear that the queen of the underground has contracted this deadly virus! At first I thought she was hamming it on but it turns out its quite serious. It’s not surprising though, it had to happen sometime, since it’s a massive epigdemic after such a huge snoutbreak. At least she doesn’t live in Caboolture though, they’re so poor they get spam flu and it’s much much worse
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